The Lighter Side Of The MLB: Memories, Characters And Things That Make Me Laugh
By Chuck Booth (Lead Baseball Analyst/Website Owner): Follow @chuckbooth3024
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Okay, the MLB has has had their fair share of characters and memories that illustrate how funny some things are. We all like to blow these up on social media circles.
In this article, I just wanted to share some of these occurrences I have found amusing – also some of things that have cracked up some of our writers at this website.
Of course, we also have Paul Sullivan (AKA Sully) who usually makes people laugh once a podcast because he is a former comedian.
Some of his things that make us laugh are: “Did you know that Mariano Rivera is retiring?” diatribes and explaining WAR to novice baseball people is also classic.
Sully likes to emphasize that he understands sabermetrics, but several other of our listeners have cracked up at his pronunciation of BABIP.
Here is what else has caught my attention over the years.
I like to pick on Carl Everett (The Truth). The ex-player who didn’t believe in dinosaurs, and also ate himself out of the league in Seattle.
We like that the Baltimore Orioles are so strict with physicals, that they should really administer the new testing for PED’s by the MLB.
Thanks to Derek Bell, (and the Washington Nationals), for teaching us what operation ‘shut-down mode” is all about in the MLB.
You think Yasiel Puig is a hot dog, how about former Blue Jays backup player Mike Maksudian having a team Tattoo plastered in his private regions (saying as much at the World Series Parade speech), only to have been traded right there after.
Also Nyjer Morgan gets more excited on big hits than anybody else.
Back to Derek Bell, he also slid into home plate in a victory lap – after the Jays won the World Series.
For that matter, Henderson also framed a Million Dollar Cheque. Classic.
Does anyone else remember Deion Sanders 1st HR in the Major Leagues with the New York Yankees? – yeah he slid into home plate. How do you think George Steinbrenner dug that?
I love that the term slump-buster originated from Mark Grace‘s love for bedding big girls to break a batting curse.
Or that Greg Maddux once pitched wood on the mound of a big league game before a teammate said “Dude, you really love to pitch.”
Randall Simon. former Cub and Pirate who took a swing at one of the sausages in Milwaukee. Love it that the guy never let the bat out of his arms.
Rob Deer. Where else can you find a sport that reveres a guy who fails so much, but will excite a crowd with a HR ever once in a while. He could bat .160 with 30 HRs and be the teams most popular player.
Speaking of A-ROD, he famously asked a girl in the stands for her phone number after striking out against the Detroit Tigers in the 2012.
He later was in a bowling alley, after playing 3 frames – and knocking down every pin in that time span, he abruptly asked the waitress out, delaying the game.
When he arrived back, he said “I always ask a girl out after 3 strikes.”
Of course he was at the Black Jack table in Vegas later that offseason, and stood pat on 12, with the dealer showing a 7. We all knew it was because he was afraid to hit.
Okay the last two weren’t real, but rather amusing.
Would we ever know that there was a player called Mendoza, if there wasn’t the Mendoza Line?
Of course at the MLB reports, we have donned the “Dunn Trick” in honor of Adam Dunn. It is 2 Strikeouts, A walk and a HR.
If Mike Trout ran through a carwash would he get wet?
We also would like to give the New York Mets the “Brewster Millions Award”, named for the movie back in the 80’s where Richard Pryor had to spend $30 MIL in 30 day’s – and have nothing to show for it.
The fact they are still contributing to Bobby Bonilla‘s liquor fund annually is just awesome.
Vernon Wells needs to sign another contract this year so he can be paid by four separate clubs.
The MLB reports would also like to give the Marlins an award for “equal opportunity employers,” by giving every washed up player from North America or Japan a chance to resurrect their careers in Florida.
Their own Jeffrey Loria also gets the o.co coliseum bowel movement of the decade, by slinging his grimy self all over that city for the last 10 plus years.
We would also like to give Milton Bradley and Kenny Rogers both lifetime achievement awards for their work towards the press media, while we can give out the Bob Uecker from Major League’s quote of “Trojan’s Boner of The Week” Award to umpire Angel Hernandez, for ultimately performing countless screw jobs on the world of baseball.
Now that there is instant replay, i hope it doesn’t change the antics of the coach being tossed out of the game. Lord knows of childhood memories of watching Earl Weaver lose it.
Earl Weaver Rant – Swearing
Speaking of managers losing it, loved the Hal MacRae meltdown, chair throwing bender when he was bench boss in Kansas City.
Who says that managers can’t fight players either, as we learned from Rob Dibble and Sweet Lou going toe to toe during the Nasty Boy’s ERA?
Rob Dibble and Lou Pinella Fight – Warning – Swearing here
Another legendary rant was Lee Elia berating the great fans of Wrigley Field back in the early 1980’s.
Lee Elia Rant (Profane Swearing)
But nothing beats Chris Perez and his dog having late night parties with Marijuana?
I guess that is a little safer than talking about all of the drug benders that former MLB’ers have gone on before (“just remember just because you play between white lines, doesn’t mean you have to snort white lines when not at work!”
We also remember that some of the players have not played so well with the fans of the game, like John Rocker and his love for the 7 line in New York, or Vince Coleman in the parking lot with fireworks in LA Dodgers.
We will not go down the domestic areas of this article, lets just all be glad Miguel Cabrera turned his life around.
Joey/Albert Belle was a nice guy wasn’t he?
Or how about how friendly Erik Bedard was to the Canadian Media when he debuted for the Seattle Mariners.
We also can’t leave this without saying how historic that Joe Carter and Vladimir Guerrero would have been, if only the foul base line at 3B was 50 feet more to the left. Lookout fans in the front rows over there!
I once saw Guerrero swing 3 bats in warmup, and also cricket style smash a pitch off the wall in LF at Angel Stadium in 2005. That guy would swing at anything.
Guerrero also believed he was still a speedster in his later years, being picked off countless times trying for extra bases, and then he would throw his helmet. What an arm!
Kind of players like J.P. Arencibia, Yuniesky Betancourt and any other player who hates to walk. These guys would probably run across the street as fast as they could when the pedestrian light said ‘WALK’ because they don’t know what it meant.
They would also choose the stand line at any moving escalator runways at airports for that very reason.
Its kind of like those guys that strikeout so much plying through more wood with their grip than even lumberjacks do.
Only in Toronto, could Dave Winfield be arrested for accidentally killing a bird with a base hit, while playing the Canadian franchise.
Randy Johnson made mincemeat out of a bird with a pitch once, but because he was on US Soil, he made the highlight of the night in most sporting networks.
Baseball is just filled with so much.
*** The views and opinions expressed in this report are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of mlbreports.com and their partners***
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Posted on February 5, 2014, in The Rest: Everything Baseball and tagged @mlbreoorts on twitter, adam dunn, alex ríos, alex rodriguez, bartolo colon, bobby bonilla, carl everett, chris perez, chris young, curtis granderson, deion sanders, Derek Bell, earl weaver, george bell, Greg Maddux, hal macrae, j.p. arencibia, jason bay, Joe Carter, john rocker, lee elia, Lloyd McClendon, lou brock, luis castillo, mariano rivera, mark grace, miguel cabrera, mike maksudian, Mike Trout, mo vaughn, nyjer morgan, randy johnson, rickey henderson, rob dibble, toronto blue jays, vernon wells, vlad guerrero, willie mays, yasiel puig, Yuniesky Betancourt. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.